It’s not always grim up north, but sometimes it can be. Especially if this list of the top 10 worst places to live in the UK is to be believed.
Every year, ilivehere.co.uk runs a poll asking people to vote for the worse place to live in England – and this time around quite a few Yorkshire towns made it into the top ten.
Whilst we’re the first to champion the beauty of Yorkshire, even we have to admit that not all of its towns and cities are created equally. Now, it seems that the people have had their say – and some might find the outcomes (and judgments) shocking.
We’re not here to judge, merely to impart the (kind of bad) news. All we’ll say is, please don’t shoot the messenger.
Here are the Yorkshire towns that made the list:
10. Halifax
We don’t think this is really fair on Halifax, it’s got some beautiful buildings like the Piece Hall and Halifax Minster – and, further out of town, the town’s Shibden Mill Inn was actually just ranked the best pub in Yorkshire.
Here’s what some of ilivehere.co.uk’s contributors had to say about the town:
“I soon realised that I would need an interpreter in Halifax as the locals spoke only in grunts and squints.”
“The lovely ladies are not chatted up in this town, they totter out of the nightclubs legless and sh*g in an alleyway. A truly awful town.” Bit harsh, that.
9. Torquay
8. Jaywick
7. Luton
6. Wakefield
Known as the capital of the rhubarb triangle and just a stone’s throw from us here in Leeds, Wakefield is also famous as the home of indie band The Cribs.
We also have Wakefield to thank for the famous nursery rhyme The Grand Old Duke of York, but apparently none of this was enough to keep the city out of the top ten.
Here’s what people had to say about the city:
“Wakefield’s cultural wilderness is astonishing. Its claim to fame is that it is the Rhubarb Capital Of The UK. Seriously”
“The (in)famous “Westgate Run” can be funny to watch. A mating ground for those whom evolution forgot: apish men with shaven heads drag their knuckles along the floor, lumbering about after women in white stilettos and matching PVC cat suits, who clatter round screaming like banshees.”
5. Hull
This is actually a good result for Hull, which has already taken the hattrick championship having topped this list three times already in previous years.
Suffice to say, people did not hold back on their opinions of the 2017 City of Culture – despite the fact that it brought us giant 3-litre pornstar martini towers this summer at a time when we’ve honestly never needed a giant cocktail more.
Perhaps ilivehre.co.uk’s contributors have never visited The Piper. Here’s what they thought of the city:
“It’s like God’s little experiment, if he put the worst of everything into one pot and stirred it up a bit.”
“Where else can you see humans acting in such a depraved manner and view original and authentic 50’s post-war brutalist concrete architecture?”
4. Bradford
Taking the fourth spot from the top is Bradford, the Yorkshire rose itself. And this year, it seems as if the city has unified voters. Here’s what they had to say (and brace yourself, these are some of the harshest comments yet):
“Stand outside Greggs and wonder aloud as to how babies with no teeth manage to eat pasties.”
“Bradford, the land of opportunity, if it’s a takeaway or a pound shop you dream of opening.”
“Bradford is awash with the kind of people documentary producers dream about, if you want entire families of career criminal scroats with the morals of a paedophilic serial killer in your fly on the wall production.”
“Want the best deals come to Bradford, buy 1 get 1 free chicken and chips, a stolen PS4 from some Slovakian at Foster Square or some cheap deodorants from the local junkie desperate for his next fix.”
3. Liverpool
Having lost its UNESCO world heritage status earlier this year, it seems that Liverpool’s reputation is in general decline – if the people who voted in this poll are to be believed, anyway.
Apparently, the city’s incredible food, drink and music culture wasn’t enough to save it from the judgements of pollsters – who focused primarily on the accent of locals and a penchant for fake tan and tracksuits.
Here’s what some of them had to say:
“Seriously, the girls here are so unbelievably orange that even the thickest of sunglasses will be rendered useless. It literally peels the retinas from your eyeballs.”
“If you can get past the accent and the copious amounts of phlegm that fly around every time the locals say a word with the letters ‘c’ or ‘k’ in them you have passed the first test. Don’t ever engage in conversation with a scouser about crockery or Krakow in Poland or you will surely be drenched.”
“Situated on the border of Northern England and Wales, it draws the very worst characteristics of both regions, i.e Welsh pig-headedness and Northern self-righteousness, a truly toxic stew of humanity.”
2. Huddersfield
The final Yorkshire spot to make it onto this list of shame is Huddersfield – taking home the silver medal in this year’s rankings. Justifying its placement, the ilivehere team writes: “What more is there to say about a town that lists one of its top attractions as a hill?”
We have to say, it’s hard to argue with that one. Here’s what their contributors said:
“There’s nothing but pound shops and a few coffee shops. It’s polluted, unclean and full of idiots. It’s a horrible place to live.”
“Not all of Huddersfield is bad… just 70% of it.”
“To those considering migrating to Huddersfield, first consider the minimum qualifying requirements:
- Must have a minimum of three kids, of which at least one must be 50% genetically unrelated to the other two. (Preferably diagnosed with ADHD)
- Must have a BMI greater than 30
- Have teeth like a burnt-out fusebox
- Must agree to dump a shopping trolley and/or a mattress in your sh#t tip of a garden”
1. Peterborough
Feature image – Billy Wilson via Flickr.
