Two enthusiastic Greggs fans are making their way around the country on a pilgrimage reviewing every bakery that they can find – and yes, of course, they’ve made it over to Leeds.
From West Sussex to Norfolk, Ledbury to Leeds, the Greggs devotees have traversed the length and breadth of the country doing what can only be described as God’s work – seeking to review each and every branch, giving full reports along the way on every aspect of their experiences, and throwing in a few literary and biblical references along the way, just for laughs.
Each post goes into an extreme level of detail, with the reviewers (revealed by The Tab to be students Milo and Tom) soliloquizing on the highs, the lows and the bang-on-average parts of each experience – and some of their write-ups are, frankly, hilarious.
The connoisseurs take the task seriously: giving numbered rankings of each bakery, taking those all-important aspects – staff, service, freshness, taste and temperature – and rating each out of ten, before giving an overall score.
As is to be expected Leeds has done pretty well, with an overall rating of 8/10.
Leeds is described as having a Greggs on ‘every corner’, with staff that ‘smiled and were friendly’, the duo note a ‘good variety on offer’ – with exception of one ‘traumatised’ sausage roll, which they avoid.
Opting for another – described as “flaky, possibly overly so, however still a good quality” despite being “boiling at one end and not as hot at the other. A totally new experience for a totally new store.”
In another more recent review, this time tackling a Greggs in Brighton, the pair nod to Renaissance poet John Milton’s 17th-century epic Paradise Lost – asserting that Milton was, like them, a fellow sausage roll aficionado.
One particularly brilliant line states: “[the poem] is considered to derive closely from the source material within the bible but a lesser known fact is that the widespread version of the poem actually borrows heavily from Milton’s undervalued earlier work: “Paradise Found”, and his previous career as a sausage roll aficionado.
It continues: “Milton was convinced that he had stumbled upon crumbly perfection. He warned the sausage roll could make heaven or hell, and discouraged deviation from the formula he acquired.
“Thankfully, there is one institute which upholds Milton’s faith and ensures his brilliant and timeless knowledge is not lost. For this we should be ever indebted. Viva la Greggs.”
Suffice to say, it all makes for pretty great reading.
According to a report by The Tab, the pair have been on a mission to review every single Greggs in order to find the best for the past three years.
Described as “a lifelong vocation”, the pair told the publisher that they’d worked out it would take them around 2 grand in sausage rolls and five Greggs’ visits a day to tackle every site in a year.
Talk about commitment, though, they’re still at it – with the latest post uploaded just four days ago.
The full Leeds review said:
“Each corner I turned a Greggs appeared! I stepped in and was filled with an overwhelming warming sensation. It was as if I was being defrosted from a long cold sleep. I was greeted by a smile as I plumbed for the usual – a sausage roll, I accompanied this delicacy with a chicken bake.
“The sausage roll was gleaming golden brown as I removed the bag. I could smell the familiar aroma swirl and swish about my nostrils like a cool breeze. It was flaky, possibly overly so, however still a good quality. It was well cooked, not greasy and the sausage meat was nicely done. My only real criticism which was less of a criticism just more of an observation was that it was two different temperatures. Boiling at one end and not as hot at the other. A totally new experience for a totally new store.
“The chicken bake was similar other than the resounding difference that it was chicken. The pastry was great, fresh and not to greasy. It flaked off the perfect amount. The only worry was the back bits in the middle as the picture shows. The innards were tasty, a great balance of creamy sauce and chicken.
“The chicken could have done with being left in about 30 seconds longer but I’m just being picky! It was a perfect temperature and a great taste. The staff smiled and were friendly. The variety on offer was good, however there was one very traumatised sausage roll on offer which thankfully I didn’t get (see picture).
“All in all it seems fresh and was a great experience!!
One comment on the review simply states “I love Leeds!!!!” In that, I think we can all agree.
Feature image – Greggs Pilgrimage